“In three words I can sum up everything I’ve learned about life: it goes on.” – Robert Frost
Sometimes moving from one period in your life to another is intentional, but often it is a result…a consequence even…of some event or action, and not always one of your own choosing. That transition from one chapter of your life to another can be a difficult place to reside. It’s a place where we have to discern what’s next in the midst of being pulled in different directions emotionally. It’s a place filled with doubt and questions – What’s the right choice? What am I comfortable giving up (because you can never have all of the old with all of the new…there are always sacrifices to be made). What if I make the wrong choice? Is there a wrong choice? What will my family, friends, and colleagues think? It is partially fueled by a fear of missing out, but also by a fear of letting go of what is known and provides a sense of comfort or security. Like I said, not an easy place to be.
Easy or not, it is the place where I have been spending a lot of time lately. Two years post-divorce I find myself wondering what’s next for me – what does my life’s next chapter look like?. I’m at a point where I am comfortable in my own skin, loving the person I have been able to become, and excited about all that’s happening in my life right now, all the while wanting more out of life – more travel, more opportunities to write, more time with friends, more intentional development of my business, more exploration, more fun, more time for the things I find fulfilling and meaningful. But having more of these things requires some big changes from the way things currently are. And so I am at that place where I have to decide whether or not it is time to move on. Am I really ready to make those changes? Can I withstand the emotional roller coaster that will come with the changes in order to be able to live my dreams? What if I take the leap and then realize it was the “wrong” choice? If I choose to keep things as they are now, will I regret not moving on? What should the next chapter in my life look like?
Definitely not an easy decision. And truthfully, I don’t think there is a right or wrong answer. In fact, some days I think I might as well just flip a coin. I am fortunate to have a variety of options, all of which have negative elements to be weary of as well as positive aspects to look forward to. Throughout my recent discernment process I have tried to look at my options with an open mind so as not to blindly settle for something that may not be in the interest of my higher good. But even after painstakingly analyzing all of my options, there just is no clear winner…no easy answer.
Moving on is not a simple choice. Whether it’s a decision pertaining to changing jobs, relocating, going back to school, starting a business, closing a business, making a lifestyle change, ending a relationship, or taking a chance on a new relationship, making that move is not usually quick and easy for us – no matter how big or small the issue, there’s no easy button in life…and no reset button either. We have to choose a course of action and accept what comes as a result. The best attitude and perspective to have perhaps is one like Ernie Harwell expresses – “It’s time to say goodbye, but I think goodbyes are sad and I’d much rather say hello. Hello to a new adventure.”
And so I have decided it will be for me – hello new adventure, nice to meet you…I look forward to getting to know you better!