Tag Archives: Attachment

Opening Up To The Possibilities

“We have more possibilities available in each moment than we realize.” – Thich Nhat Hanh

Life presents us with a seemingly endless array of possibilities every day. From the opportunity to meet new people, to buy new things, to enter into new relationships, to travel to new places, to try new things, to accept new job opportunities, and to learn new things, every day we get the chance to openly accept, or reject, any of a number of new possibilities into our lives.

Opening up to any one of those possibilities can sound inviting, even exciting. Yet they can also feel quite daunting and scary. Opening up to those possibilities usually means a release of control.  A deviation from the safety and security of the norm.  It is, often times, a matter of trust as well.  And it can also require a rather large leap of faith on your part.

So many doubts.  So many fears. So many questions. How do you know which are the “right” possibilities to be open to?  How do you know if it is the “right time”?  What if you choose “the wrong one”?  What if it “turns out just like last time”?  It can become an endless dialog in your mind…one that can paralyze you and render you incapable of opening up to any of the amazing possibilities that come your way.

It’s a balance…a dance. Trying to be open to the possibilities that life presents you with, yet trying also to be mindful to choose things that will best serve you. And unfortunately there is no one system, procedure, or formula to help you make these decisions.  It’s different for each of us.

But consider these thoughts…perhaps in them you can find some helpful guidance and thus allow yourself to be open to the possibilities before you:

  1. Know yourself, trust yourself, and follow your heart – always be true to yourself and honor what you need
  2. Don’t over think it or second guess yourself – sometimes you know the answer…even if you can’t explain how or why you know
  3. Let go of the attachment to any one outcome or expectation – only pain and suffering come from attachments to expectations and outcomes
  4. Know there is a lesson in everything so there is no wrong choice – regardless of the choice you make, you will learn what you need to from the situation
  5. Face your fear, knowing that the worst that can happen is you learn a valuable lesson – release your fear as it is irrational and will only serve to prevent you from learning, growing, and experiencing life

I speak all these things from personal experience, both past and present. There may be joy and there may be pain. There may be laughter and there may be tears.  But there will always also be valuable lessons to help you grow and become a better person – never lose sight of the importance and value of that.

Dare greatly and take a chance. Be open to the possibilities life sets before you. They may not be what you were expecting.  They may not even be what you had hoped for.  And they may not come at a “convenient time”.  But they are what you need in that moment for one reason or another – trust in that and stay open all the amazing possibilities that come your way.

Much Ado About Nothing

Have you ever created such an elaborate vision of an activity or event in your mind that you have been unable to follow through with that activity or event until it can happen just as you have envisioned it? This is something that has been coming up a lot for me lately. I noticed that my “vision” of certain things often keeps me from doing those things entirely. It is as if my mind has declared that if I can’t do something to the degree I have envisioned it, then I won’t/can’t do it at all. And I find I do this with all sorts of things…exercise, using my pool, meditation, doing chores around the house, completing projects at work…you name the topic, I have probably struggled with this block in relation to it.

I was particularly struck by this phenomenon over the summer when it came to using my pool. Sadly, I hardly used my pool at all this summer. Part of that was caused by my schedule (I was away a good bit) and the weather (we had a lot of rain early in the summer), but the truth is the third reason I was not in my pool much this summer was because I got hung up on not having entire afternoons to spend in it. It’s silly to think about after the fact, but the reality is I had some weekend days when I had an hour or two when I could have been in the pool, but I choose not to take advantage of that time. And why didn’t I? Truthfully, because I convinced myself it wasn’t worth it for that short a time period! The story I was playing in my mind was that if I can’t spend the afternoon at the pool I shouldn’t go at all. Really? Who says it has to be an all day thing?  Why can’t it just be a few minutes?  Do I really need to pack my beach bag and head down to the pool for an entire afternoon in order for it to be “worth my time”? For that matter, why can’t just I hop in some morning for a few minutes before going to work? Where did this story come from and why have I decided it is my truth?

This is just one simple example to better illustrate my point…and it is actually the thing that first brought this topic to the forefront for me to the degree that it really got my attention. But I could share similar stories pertaining to exercising, meditating, etc. So many things I want to do, should do, and even need to do but I get stuck in these stories about why I can’t do them until my circumstances surrounding those activities or events reach a certain point. It’s terribly sad when you think about it. What am I missing out on by believing these stories I have told myself? What enjoyment am I robbing myself of? Where could I be in terms of my health, my career, my meditation practice, my level of relaxation, etc. if I had just let go of those stories and lived in each moment as it was? Conclusion: I need to loose the attachment to these stories I have told myself and learn to enjoy doing things to the degree I can when I can. Live in the moment, enjoy what there is to enjoy as it is. Waiting for that perfect time to do something might well result in never doing it at all…and that would be a terrible waste. There’s no judge watching us, waiting to give us a score on our lives and our choices. Don’t wait until for the “perfect time” to do the things you want to do. Live life…enjoy life…and don’t get hung up on those stories we tell ourselves.