Normally I only blog once a week, but I just really felt moved to share my experience today as I brought closure to one chapter in my life. This might be the most open and vulnerable piece I have written so far…maybe it isn’t, but it sure feels like it as I am sitting here writing this because I’m “deep in the weeds” with all these emotions at the moment.
What a bittersweet day! It was the final day in my house. I sold it and tomorrow is settlement so today was my last day at the house. Before it was my house it was my grandparents’ house. I grew up there – every Sunday evening and every holiday we would gather there for family dinner. After it was my grandparents’ house it became the house my ex-husband and I shared for several years before our divorce, and then it became just my house. There are lots and lots of memories in that house, so it is hard to say goodbye.
What an intense mix of emotions I felt as I walked through the now empty house one final time. Sad but exciting. Happy but heart-wrenching. Cathartic but depressing. It is hard to fathom that any single event can evoke so many contrasting and powerful emotions. I took time to walk around the property and take some photos, to sit in each room, to remember, to feel, and to acknowledge my emotions and how I was feeling. The final thing I did before I walked out the front door for the last time was to reclaim my energy and to send blessings to the home and new owners. It was a type of prayer-like ritual I did because it felt like the right thing to do – to take back my energy from the space, to make it clean/pure for the new owners and send them blessings to them and the life they will have in that wonderful space.
It was hard to leave, but it is a necessary step for me to reach the exciting goals I have for my newly imagined, post-divorce self. It is time for me to move on from here, while it is simultaneously time for someone else to begin making new memories here. And so it is.
“Everything has seasons, and we have to be able to recognize when something’s time has passed and be able to move into the next season.“ – Henry Cloud
One additional thought to share on this topic – a great resource on this topic actually. As some of you may already know, I enjoy listening to numerous podcasts, but one of my absolute favorites is The RobCast hosted by Rob Bell. In one of his most recent podcasts he talked about the seasons of our lives. It was very well done and it came at the perfect time for me, just one week before moving day. If this topic of closing one chapter of your life to start a new one (the changing seasons in your life as Rob Bell describes it), then I highly recommend you check out that episode here – it is that good.