Slow Start, Strong Finish

You know, sometimes I can be a bit slow about things. It can take me awhile to finally “get it” and then do something about it. Not always, but with some things this is quite true.  Take for example, making the choice to live my life on my own terms.  After spending many, many years giving up what I wanted in life to appease others, I finally decided to live life on my own terms.  I spent most of my adult life doing “what I was supposed to do”, which was not always what I really wanted to be doing.  Between being a perfectionist and a people pleaser, it seemed like the right thing to do, except that it wasn’t.  Somewhere along the line of living my life according to the expectations of others, I lost touch with myself and what was important to me personally.  But over the course of the past two years I have been on a journey, trying to find my way back to my true self.

Writing about my journey has been an important and powerful part of that process, but sharing my experiences hasn’t always been easy. Originally I was very afraid to share, so I took baby steps and shared “safely” at first – in very broad, general ways with nothing too specific to me and not much detail. But I kept writing.  I kept plugging away at it despite my trepidation at sharing things about myself and my journey.  And I have gotten stronger and braver in my writing with each step that I take.  It is still a work in progress though – as with all things it is a practice I continue to work at, but sharing personal stories, emotions, beliefs, and opinions is slowly becoming easier to do.  I agonize over it less and less and I spend less and less time wondering what others will think.  I was always worried about what others would say or think about what I wrote…what would they think of me if I shared certain things…what would they say about me if they knew what I was really thinking and feeling about certain things.  Eventually though the desire to share for the sake of my own growth and healing as well as for the opportunity to possibly help someone else overrode that fear.  I also discovered as I continued to write in more authentic detail that there are a lot of other people out there who share similar stories and who can relate to what I am sharing – there’s a great deal of comfort knowing you aren’t alone on your journey.

And so after two years of being on this journey, I am beginning to share more authentically. It is my story, my beliefs, my experience, my opinions, my journey, and my truth that I share…for my own sake and the sake of those to whom it also resonates. We all have a story to tell – something we can share that in doing so will not only be good for us individually, but good for others as well.  It is a powerful, albeit difficult, lesson to learn…challenging, but rewarding and satisfying at the same time.  I may have been a bit slow when it came to starting this journey, but as Jane Fonda once said, “It’s never too late – never too late to start over, never too late to be happy.”