“I feel extremely lucky, extremely grateful, and a little bittersweet, too.” – Wentworth Miller
It is amazing to me how many different emotions we are able to experience as humans. Not to mention the fact that despite all the words we have available to us as we try to explain those different emotions, it never seems like we can find the right words to thoroughly express how we actually feel. Those emotions, numerous and varied as they are, are extremely hard to explain using our “limited” vocabulary. Our words just never seem to fully capture the vastness of the emotions we are able to feel.
What’s even more amazing to me is that we can experience so many of those different emotions all at once. Surely we have all had the experience of feeling a flood of emotions – it’s both amazing that we can experience so many emotions at once but also very difficult to process as well. At times it can almost be too much to comprehend, and it certainly can be overwhelming when you are feeling all of that at once. What amazing creatures we are indeed, but what torment we can cause ourselves at the same time!
At no time has all this been more evident in my own life than this past week. The final hurdle to completely closing one chapter of my life and being able to start the next one is finally about to be removed. In just a few weeks life as I know it now will cease to exist and a brand new opportunity will begin in full force. I’ll be moving and living a much more minimalist lifestyle while focusing on my writing, coaching business, and continuing to set the stage for my ultimate dream of living and working overseas. It is so exhilarating to finally be here – it is the culmination of several years of hard work on myself and my personal goals, not to mention the generous support of amazing friends. At the same time though I have to own the fact that this transition is also scary, sad, stressful, and very bittersweet.
So many thoughts and feelings rushing through my body at one time. Stress about the quick timeline. Fear of actually taking this next step. Excitement for the opportunities that lie ahead. Sadness over leaving this chapter behind and of letting go of so much in the process of moving on. What a strange combination of beautiful and difficult emotions all wrapped up into this one human body.
The path to get here was definitely not paved with rose petals and laughter. It was a long and hard road filled with a lot of disappointment, sadness, struggle, heartache, and frustration. But the end result, reaching the first of several really big life goals I set for myself, is totally worth it. Bruno Mars’ quote sums it up quite nicely I think: “There’s always a bittersweet kind of thing, but I feel like everything had to work out the way it is. Everything that had to happen, happened.”
On some level I will miss parts of the chapter of my life that I am currently in, just as I somewhat miss certain aspects of all of the previous chapters of my life. But I know the kinds of opportunities in store for me in my next chapter, and I am super excited to experience those things. Bittersweet, yes, but totally worthwhile and exhilarating just the same.